The Dueling Rules of SPill

The Old Dueling Rules of SPill are long and complicated, going to such an extent that they could take up to three hours to recite verbatim and were never written down in their entirety, even by the most dedicated scholars. Samples include:

Rule 53d: A duel cannot be challenged on a lamppost.

Rule 53e: A duel cannot be fought with a lamppost.

Rule 29: One cannot have a cat stand in as their second.

and Rule 357: One cannot joust on a black rolling desk chair as their Duel. Blue and green rolling chairs are perfectly acceptable, as long as one is not fighting with meter sticks.

(See Rule 37 of the Town Rules stitched into the hem of the Town Council's trench coat, which reads that no rolling chairs other than those colored black are allowed into SPill due to their ability to attract the Profit Prophets, who then attack the person sitting in the chair with their heavy, multicolored cloaks.)

Rule 358: One cannot fight with bowls of chili.

This is only a snapshot of the 537 rules, many with their own subsections, so a group of students and alumni from our resident Treetop High School/College spent countless hours compiling these rules into a much shorter list that now only takes up about a page, and can be recorded with ease.

The rules are:

1) One can only fight with:

1a: An umbrella, the type of which can be decided between the combatants.

1b: A spoon, the type of which can be decided between the combatants, as long as it is not a ladle.

1c: A plastic lawn flamingo, the color can be decided between the combatants.

2) One must have a witness to the calling of such duel.

3) One must respect proper dueling etiquette, which can be relearnt with the proper payment to the Profit Prophets.

These rules may be added to, but are still much easier to understand in truth, so it seems to be a positive addition to SPill!